“I feel angry all the time.” He hung his head. His hands pressed against his forehead.
I’d witnessed my husband’s confidence evaporate over the last few months. Day after day he heard more complaints than encouragements, and when you constantly hear negativity, you begin to believe it. I was desperate to know how I could be more supportive because I felt helpless.
After years of powering through the exhaustion, my husband shared his struggles with the church elders. By God’s grace, they lovingly granted a leave of absence to devote his time to soul care. He saw his medical doctor, met with a counselor, and every morning during that leave of absence, he got up early and went into the backyard to seek the Lord.
It was tempting to place my hope in these good decisions. If the elders loved him enough, if the doctor gave him the correct medication, if the counselor uncovered the root issue, things would improve. These good-things threatened to steal the place reserved for God, and I had to daily remind myself that Scripture illustrates over and over that every battle belongs to the Lord (Ex 14:13-14, Deut 20:4, 1 Sam 17:47, 2 Chron 20:15). My hope for my husband and our future is in God and God alone.