Article
Leading Healthy Isn't Optional It's Good Biblical Stewardship
Pastors and ministry leaders face unique challenges with spiritual warfare, emotionally taxing situations and relational conflict on a weekly basis. Even elder teams, friends, and church members have a hard time relating to the stress that we in full time ministry experience. Over time, vocational ministry can create some insidious side effects that undermine overall health. Things like lower margin for life-giving activities, the pressure of giving in to pleasing people, low grade depression or anxiety, and burnout can be long term results. We at Twelve Stones Ministries, understand the impact of this on you and your family. We believe your calling does not have to result in living in survival mode. Our retreats help prevent unhealthy habits, uncover blind spots, reset biblical priorities, and restore those who have been under the cumulative effects of stress in ministry.
Drink Before You are Thirsty
Ministry is more like a marathon than a sprint (although some seasons feel like a sustained sprint!). Prevention in ministry health is like drinking before you are thirsty rather than being so spiritually dehydrated that you struggle to run well or eventually collapse. Learning leadership best practices can help but only soul rest restores a weary pastor, pastor’s wife, or ministry leader (Mt 11:28-30).
Prevention in ministry health is like drinking before you are thirsty rather than being so spiritually dehydrated that you struggle to run well or eventually collapse.
The longer you preach, teach or lead without soul rest, the more unhealthy rhythms you inadvertently create. Unhealthy leader habits lead to an unhealthy leadership culture, and downstream an unhealthy church or ministry. Thriving takes the establishment and living out of healthy rhythms spiritually, relationally and emotionally both individually, as a couple, and as a culture. Our retreats help you to slow down, hear from the Lord and get back to why you got into ministry in the first palace. Our first love being Christ, our priority of family time and discipleship, and our shepherding care for our people can be lost so easily in the busyness of ministry! We look at stewardship of time, energy, and priorities that affects everything you do and everyone around you.
Confronting Obstacles to Health
Most who come to a retreat ask themselves why they didn’t do it sooner! Guilt about focusing on self, busyness, and low self-awareness, tend to make us neglect or wait too long to invest in our own personal and marital health. Leader health also faces some social/cultural challenges. It is often hard for a pastor to express to his elders that he needs a break. While church and ministry cultures might respect those in leadership, they are notoriously poor at caring for their top leaders.
The longer you preach, teach or lead without soul rest, the more unhealthy rhythms you inadvertently create.
Maybe that is why the Scriptures challenge leaders to steward both their lives and their doctrine closely (1 Tim 4:16). The truth is, if a pastor or leader doesn’t take care of his health or his family, there is a good chance no one else will either. But we will also help you teach your board, elder team, and staff how important leader health is to your mission.
Do You Ignore Dashboard Lights?
Let’s do a quick check. On a scale of 1-10 rate each of these areas: your spiritual, emotional, and relational health (maybe ask your spouse too). Under a 24 total score? Likely, there's a warning light going on somewhere in your soul. Question is, are you aware? Being proactive with spiritual, relational and emotional health can actually make the difference between surviving and thriving in ministry. Routine shorter breaks weekly, and monthly and periodic retreats annually and every 3-5 years have shown to increase leadership sustainability. It’s a preventive way to refocus, reprioritize, or refresh your relationship with Christ and your spouse. A powerful bi-product for leaders is their refocusing on health helps catalyze leader health in the culture of the organization when they return.
When to Schedule a Retreat?
Whether a retreat is part of your sabbatical planning, a ministry marriage check up, or you are way past due for “routine soul maintenance”, you should consider strategic breaks for your staff and senior leaders. They are a great way to refresh, reset or restore health in leader marriage and ministry. Leaders are leaving ministry, falling into sin, struggling with marriage and ministry balance way too often and it can be prevented. Intensive retreats often conjure up the sense that you must be a total train wreck to need this level of care. That kind of thinking is part of why so many leaders struggle way too long and others just give up.
Leaders are leaving ministry, falling into sin, struggling with marriage and ministry balance way too often and it can be prevented.
Think of it like this - you did not develop unhealthy ministry habits in a day and you won’t get out of them in a couple of one hour counseling sessions. You don’t have to be in crisis to benefit from a retreat. In fact, we designed various intensive levels of retreats to prevent that from being the case! I want to give you five reasons to consider a retreat for you and your spouse in the season.
Five Reasons to Add A Lead Healthy Retreat to Your Sustainability Planning for Leaders
1. Tailored Counsel and Care
We have learned to ask the right questions. Unlike a lot of pastoral retreat centers, we provide one on one tailored counsel and care for one couple at a time. We will listen deeply, speak the truth with love, and give you a plan that will sustain gains after you leave. Drawing out the heart (Prov. 20:5) helps us to target heart patterns, encourage growth, and help in very specific ways. The initial intake information will also help us determine whether you need a refresh, reset, or restore level of retreat.
2. Trusted Counsel With Experience
We have carefully selected our counselors. Dr. Higbee has over thirty years of biblical counseling experience. He started Twelve Stones ministry in 2004 and has led hundreds of intensives (focusing more on leader care for the last 15 years). He and his colleagues have been pastors in the local church, lead para-church ministries and have been on the mission field. They understand the unique temptations and trials of a pastor and pastor’s wife, provide biblically saturated counsel, and help you walk out with a plan to lead healthy.
3. A Quiet and Well Suited Setting to Focus
We have thought of everything you’ll need to be focused. Sometimes you just need to get away, get perspective, and reflect without distraction. Our three day retreats include counseling, guided growth assignments, meals and time to process and reflect. Our cottage is well equipped, comfortable and quiet. The property is beautiful and surrounded by a horse farm. You get to be surrounded by a serene and calm environment, with the benefit of being located near many nice restaurants should you choose to go out to dinner during your stay.
4. A Clear Process and Plan to Implement
We know how to get beyond behavior to target root issues and concerns. We help you and those who love you to develop a plan that is realistic to your season of life, achievable, and shareable with those who will support it. Our desire is to create an transformative experience that is Christ-centered, Spirit led and ideally includes godly friends (we call these friends advocates). We find the clarity of a lead healthy plan and the addition of advocates makes this so much more than a mountain top experience. It actually changes the way you live and lead after you leave. We will provide biblical insight, and together we will create a clear path to healthy leadership. To learn more about the role of advocates please visit leadhealthyretreats.com.
5. Three Options for Different Levels of Need (Check out “which retreat is right for me” at leadhealthyretreat.com)
Refresh Retreat (counseling 4-6 hours during stay)
When you need a marriage checkup or a personal time of rest and wise counsel.
Reset Retreat (counseling 6-10 hours during stay)
When you need to identify obstacles to thriving, and reset priorities individually and as a couple.
Restore Retreat (counseling 12-14 hours during stay)
When you have deep hurts, conflict to resolve, or heart issues hindering healthy leadership.
Have another question that's not listed here?
Great! We’d love to hear from you, just contact us at susan@twelvestones.org and we’ll get back to you!